Looking Back And Now
by Will.Hell.Minna.-Sophia Isobel
Summary: THIS IS DRACO'S POINT OF VIEW... WHAT HAD HAPPENED TO HIM AFTER THE WAR...HOW HE SURVIVED AND HOW HE WILL CONTINUE TO SURVIVE.


**PROMPT HOMEWORK**: SURVIVING

**DRACO'S POV**

I could still hear in my head the loud cheers that erupted when harry potter had killed the dark lord. I could not remember much of the events that happened next after the defeat of the said lord… All I could recall remember was being in so much pain after being punished and left for dead by my aunt, Bellatrix le 'strange. Seeing my mother run into the room of requirement, screaming my name so loud, her warm touch that made me feel safe, then slowly, I slipped into darkness.

I felt no pain, no shame, and no care left to try to live again. The darkness was peaceful and it was the first time after so many moments, that I finally felt calm and free.

When i woke up, I was in my room again. My wounds were cleaned and bandaged. I debating within myself whether to get up or try to recall the events that had happened during the war. Then, the image of my mother flashed across my mind so I decided to get up and go down. I wanted to check on her and see if she was alright.

Just then, pain introduced himself to me once again. I felt stings in different parts of my body. It was like being attacked by a horde of bees.

A part of my mind was yelling at me, saying, "_I told you not to get up! But you never listened! Now you're in pain again! Great pain!_"

I would have almost listened to myself but a loud crash from downstairs broke the silence that had engulfed my room. Forgetting the pain, I quickly got up and went downstairs as fast i as could to find out where the sound was coming from.

As i reached the last step of the stairs, I saw one of our house elves floating broken pieces of a plate into a bag, probably to put it back together again. I didn't notice that my mother was standing by the living room entrance, looking at me with worried eyes. I walked towards her, acting strong, and gave her a reassuring hug. She definitely had been worried and stressed.

Mu thoughts wanted me to ask about my father, seeing as he was not around. However, as i was about to open my mouth and speak, she beckoned me to follow her into the study. As i sat down on the sofa, she closed the door behind her and sat next to me, still not speaking a word. She slowly handed me an issue of the daily prophet and nudged me to read. A confused face reflected from her eyes as i looked down and saw the date of the issue. I turned to see what date it was and was shocked to know that the paper was already two weeks old.

Slowly I began to read the breaking headline of the news letter that was in my hands. "The war is over! Dark lord defeated!" a photo of potter and his friends had occupied the most of the front page. The golden trio of Gryffindor, not much of a surprise.

After an hour, i found myself lying down on my bed, recalling what i had read earlier. "Lucius Malfoy and several other death eaters were sentenced to Azkaban with no chances of bail. Harry James Potter along with other Hogwarts students had attended the special ceremony for Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape." this news brought me to tears. Severus, my godfather, was now dead. Moreover, to make it worse, I was not able to give him my final farewell. No! Because I had been asleep for two god damn weeks!

When i had calmed down, another thought had entered my mind. My mother had told me that potter had been visiting me while I was asleep. I wanted to know why harry potter was visiting me and why was he asking about my condition. She told me not to think of the war and just concentrate on getting well. This was a request that would have been hard to comply but the moment I sat in front my window and stared right through its glass. I seemed to have drifted into space, into nothingness.

I had been that way for many days. I wouldn't talk to anyone. I would just sit there and stare out my window. I was being fed in silence by my mother because I refused to talk nor move. I was magically bathed and dressed by her alone. After a few more days, potter came to visit again, and this time, he was not alone. Granger and Weasley were with him. My mother had led them to my room, and for the first time since the war, the golden trio had seen me again.

They saw me in a state that greatly confused them. She explained my condition to them and left us to fetch from tea and cookies for the guests.

Potter stood by the window, looking at me, waving his hands in my face. I couldn't talk even if i wanted to. It was as if I had forgotten how to speak at all. Granger bent down next to my chair, I heard her say that I looked so terrible and that being in that state was like hell. If I could have spoken at all, i might have told her that nothingness felt better than anything else right now. Like being numb after taking so much pain. The red head stood next to potter and examined me up and down. I knew what they were doing even though I couldn't move at all. Granger had told the other two boys that instead of hating me, she felt sad instead.

In my mind, I thought, "great! The mudblood feels sorry for me!"

Before my mind could think of worse things, another part of my mind spoke up, "be thankful that they feel sad for you! You know you don't deserve their pity but their giving it to you just the same." the rest of my mind agreed.

My mother came back with a tray of food then left once again. I was still waiting for one of them to say why they bothered to visit a death eater schoolmate. After a silent meal, the other two went out, leaving potter and me alone. Harry pulled up a chair and sat beside the window, looking at me.

He sighed heavily before he spoke. "Malfoy, things had not been good between us since our first year. I sometimes wondered what would have happened it I took you hand when we first met. Now that the war is over, there are things that i had been meaning to tell you." he paused for a few moments then spoke again.

"First, I wanted to apologize. I didn't know how hard it was for you to have gone through what you did. Being pressured to kill people to keep on living. Secondly, I want I wanted to tell you that when your all well again, let's go back to Hogwarts and finish our last year. Let us put the past behind us and move on with new lives." he took a deep breath once again and I saw for the first time, hesitation was written all over his face.

"Draco, you have lived through so much… so much more than you let people see. I have been meaning to ask you for the last few days… [he took hold of my hand, much to my surprise] I wanted to ask you to come back with me… let's survive the remaining year at Hogwarts together…. Just you and me… surviving doesn't have to be done alone. I can help you. I want to help you."

It took me a while to process what potter had just said. Did he really say those words I heard? What he actually serious? So many questions flooded my mind but as i took a few moments to think, it was just then that i noticed, my heart was finally at peace.

**And now…**

Just as harry was about to take away his hand to stand up, I held on it tightly which made the raven haired boy stare at me with a surprised facial expression written across his face. I slowly smiled at him, "yes… surviving… together." as the words left my lips, I knew I was going to be happy.


End file.
